Guest Post....Third Time's a Charm

As a followup to the post I wrote earlier this week about being REAL with one another, this guest post by Tricia Bucher Wade, a former fellow board member of Girls on the Run Cincinnati, goes a little deeper into the same theme. She sent it to me this week and I asked her permission to share it with you. May it be as much of a blessing to you as it was to me!


Third Time's a Charm
by Tricia Bucher Wade

I've been writing this in my head throughout my entire maternity leave.  I wanted to get this out there sooner.  I was sure I'd have the time one afternoon, one evening, during naps, before anyone woke up one morning, etc.  Sadly, it took sitting back at my desk at work on a dreary, blustery, snowy afternoon to finally get my thoughts started on paper…well, on the computer screen.  I hope you enjoy what I'm writing during my mental breaks from work during my first week back.  This is, once again, another mommy topic that I'm sure will spur some comments.  So, once again, here are my thoughts and opinions…

This topic came to me awhile ago, but really came to life when Henry (my third child) was just 5 days old.  He had his first pediatrician's appointment that morning.  I took him there by myself and brought the grocery list as well.  After his appointment I journeyed over to Kroger.  We needed groceries.  And not just milk and bread…we needed everything.  I put Henry in the Snap 'n Go stroller, grabbed a Starbucks and pulled a grocery cart behind me filling it to the top.  It looked as though I hadn't shopped in weeks.  I took my time as he slept and at the end I pulled into a check-out lane behind another woman with an infant in a similar pumpkin seat in her cart.  Her cart which seemed bare with only the baby and less than 5 items – the essential milk, bread, etc. was present.  I could see her baby, but she couldn't see mine.  Here's our conversation:

Me: "Looks like you have a little one as well…how old?"
Woman: "Yes, just 3 months."
Me: "So cute."
Woman: "Thanks, how old is yours?"
Me: "Only 5 days."

The woman then looked from me to my overflowing cart to my stroller and then back to me and back to the cart.  Her facial expression could not even be described.  I quickly saw the look of defeat on her face and I felt bad that I hadn't lied and said that Henry was really 2 years old because her response was a quiet and monotone, "I thought I was going to die when mine was 5 days."  Saying that Henry was 5 days old was an insult to her…how could I be out buying groceries (and lots of them) by myself with a 5 day old??  I believe she was feeling really good about being out with her baby (an accomplishment for her) until she came across me.  I had to quickly reassure her…and I did.

Me: "Oh, don't worry.  He's my third.  It gets easier."

She did smile, but I don't think she was convinced.  We can categorize ourselves all day long: working moms/stay-at-home moms, breastfeeding moms/bottle-feeding moms, organic moms/non-organic moms, etc.  Today I'm focusing on moms with only one child versus moms with multiple children.  I only say versus to point out a difference.  As a mom of multiple children, we really need to look out for and help those moms that are just experiencing the joy of motherhood for the first time.  It is extremely overwhelming for most.  Moms of multiples need to get rid of the "told ya so", "here's the only advice you need", and "you have it easy with only one" attitudes and jump in with consoling, listening, steering, empathizing, etc.  And moms of multiples need to quit being down on themselves because what they envisioned isn't what reality looks like (more on this later).

I've written previously about deciding on the number of kids you want to have.  So I must add that moms with only one kid and no plans of any more…you may never understand parts of this.  (However, I'll never understand what it's like to be your child's only playmate in a home without siblings!)  I'm sure some of the following could also be due to the parent's attitude and habits as the child ages and as the parent ages as opposed to the number of kids there are in the family.  So chime in with your experiences and perspectives.  Moms of one kid currently, but plans for more?  Promise me you'll read this after your second or third child is a toddler.  I think you'll relate more (and laugh louder) then.

Although I must now admit I was really bummed that my best friend had her first two kids way before me, I now see what a blessing it was.  She was pregnant with her third while I was pregnant with my first.  Although I'm sure it would have been fun going through all of the "firsts" together, I now see that I was lucky to have her help keep me sane and give me some realistic perspective – which continues today.  Otherwise, we may have been two people running around like chickens with our heads cut off.

On the other hand, how she didn’t kill me as I experienced new things for the first time (and either freaked out, got overjoyed or just cried), I'm not sure!  You can easily stereotype a new mom.  There were definitely things I did as a new mom that now make me cringe or wonder if I was out of my mind.  Did I seriously use the breastfeeding/poopy diaper measurement chart given to you at the hospital for weeks and weeks?  There are things a lot of new moms probably try but soon abandon due to other priorities.  I tried going organic with Stella, but never stuck with it for multiple reasons.

When I told the new mother at the grocery that it gets easier, I was not exactly telling the truth.  It absolutely does not get easier in general.  The truth is that it's different things that get harder.  Going to the grocery store with just one child was my new easy!  And most moms of multiples that I've had conversations with all come down to one realization…you lower your standards to keep your sanity and create your new "normal".  You try to focus on doing your best at that moment – the definition of "that moment" is what changes over time.  So what seemed right or the best thing to do when you had only one kid changes as your family grows.  At least it did for me.

When you are a new mom and talk to friends with multiple kids, it's sometimes like being from a different planet.  As a new mom you may gawk at the idea of your toddler drinking juice, eating sweets or having treats.  Who in their right mind would contaminate their child with sugary candy/drinks before the age of 2?  Moms with multiple kids!  (If I could only tell if you were laughing or cringing right now!)  Just try telling your 18 month old that although she also cleaned her plate at dinner, she can't have a treat because her 3 ½ year old sister didn't get treats until she turned 2 years old.  Pick your battles with children #2, #3, etc.  One cookie every once in awhile won't kill them even if it's at an earlier age than child #1 received exact same treat.

So here's a tiny peek at the planet I currently live on…the following is a list of some of my lower standards and/or things that have changed over the course of three kids:

Baby book/calendar – I purchased both for Stella.  I could not understand why my best friend did not want a new baby book as well during the same shopping trip while we were both pregnant (remember, it was her third pregnancy).  I only kept current with the calendar.  Therefore, for Charlotte I only purchased the 2-year calendar which is blank past 9 months old.  I made myself buy a 1-year calendar for Henry during my last week of pregnancy…I was feeling guilty for not having one.  It's still not open and he is 13 weeks old…so his existence isn't even documented in it.
 
Swimming lessons = Bath night.
 
Blood - A hysterical scare the first time.  However, when you have multiple kids and one gets hurt in a store and is bleeding and obviously needs stitches…the first thought that goes through your head might be, "Should we check out first or just leave the full cart sitting here in the aisle and get to the ER?"  (We did leave the full cart.)
 
Photos - I have a unique photo album of Stella.  It's her picture taken every week in the same spot her first year of life.  Fifty-two photos that show her week-to-week changes.  Although I have photos of Henry, I never did make a birth announcement.
 
Daycare Incident Reports - I used to have lots of questions when they were filled out for Stella: What happened to her?  Who did this to her?  Etc.  Charlotte was bit at school recently and my first question was, "Did she deserve it?"
 
Naps – With Stella I tried every schedule and followed the eat, play, sleep routine to the extreme.  I did have Charlotte napping in her crib around 8-9 weeks old.  Henry will not sleep much at daycare because he's used to being in his car seat and napping during errands!
 
Veggie Straws = A serving of vegetables.
 
Family Photos – For Stella's baptism I wanted the photo to be perfect.  Everyone needed to look nice and also be looking at the camera.  Now?  I just want the right people in the photo.  At Henry's baptism our family photo included Charlotte's pacifier and Stella's pink construction paper crown made earlier that day in Sunday School.  I don't think either of them are looking at the camera.
 
Being Mobile -  With only one child, this used to mean having a stocked diaper bag, a high chair cover, disposable placemats, disposable bibs, etc. with us at all times.  Now it means having a diaper and/or pull-up in the car (which is now a minivan) or in my purse.
 
Wade Holiday Party - Used to be a drunk fest that started at 7/8 PM and went to midnight.  Evolved into an Open House from 3-8 so that we could get people to leave around the kids' bedtime and still clean-up before going to bed ourselves.  This year we are going to meet another family downtown on a Saturday night to see Santa rappel from the Macy's building and watch the fireworks afterwards.
 
Exercise - Used to have a great workout schedule.  Running, biking, etc.  Then it turned into pushing a stroller on a walk with my neighbor.  Now it's the muscles I build when Henry is in the Baby Bjorn strapped to the front of me and I'm also holding Charlotte on one hip (so she won't run away) while I'm pushing Stella on a swing.  As a magnet in my cubicle states, "My kids are my cardio." 

What I want to do turned into what needs to be done 95% of the time.
 
Daycare - I only work 4 days a week but the cost is the same for 5 days of daycare.  With just Stella I rarely left her there to even stop at the grocery for milk on my way home from work.  I wanted to get to her as fast as I could.  However, I must confess, that even with just the two girls there were days that I could have left work earlier, but didn't.  I'd find something to do for another 30 minutes to stall leaving.  Because of the time of day it was, I knew they were having fun on the playground and if I waited 30 more minutes then Andy would also be home by the time we pulled into the garage.  Having him home with us makes the witching hour so much easier.  Now that there are three kids...well, today is my day off and they are all at daycare.  I'd rather use my day today to catch up on laundry, go to the grocery, and finish up some Christmas stuff by myself so that we can all spend the weekend together playing and enjoying each other.  I never would have believed I'd do this if you'd ask me a couple of years ago.  I must say I do not feel a bit of guilt about this because the girls love "school" and are doing age appropriate things instead of being lugged around from store to store bored out of their minds.  And Henry?  He's got to be thrilled to be out of that car seat!

The point of this is NOT to paint an ugly picture for moms of one child that want to expand their family.  It's to let them know that if they find themselves "lowering the standards", having different expectations, or wondering what happened to the vision they once had, it's ok.  Don't feel guilty as long as you are doing your best in the moment.  People constantly ask me, "How do you do it all?"  I don't.  Maybe it looks like it because I don't broadcast that on Wednesday nights the baths are skipped because of swim lessons.  And I did feel a little guilty about this at first.  But then I saw other moms in the locker room putting their kids straight into pajamas as well.  And realizing it wasn't just me…made me feel better.  So that's why I posted my list above – so that maybe some of you can relate (while I'm sure others can't stop shaking their heads.)

There are so many, many things that I used to do or be involved with that just don't exist in my world anymore.  For example, I've given up on organizing photos, reading books, and leisurely shopping.  (Remember leaving in the morning and browsing TJ Maxx, Kohls, Macy's, the mall, etc. all day for nothing in particular?  And now a trip by yourself to Costco, Kroger or Target for necessities is a blessing!)  I would love to do more volunteer work.  Do I miss those things?  Absolutely.  But I'll return to them at some point in my life.  Right now being in the moment with my kids matters most.

And don't be fooled by other moms you think are doing it all.  I felt deflated when my best friend's third child had learned to dress herself way before Stella.  How was she doing something with three kids in the house that I couldn't accomplish with one?  It was quickly pointed out to me by my dear friend (with a smile and a laugh) that her daughter learned this due to "a healthy amount of neglect" from being the third child.

Bottom line?  As I've stated in other writings, support each other.  Be open-minded.  Keep the word "perspective" at the forefront and remember that we all live in different environments.  All moms need reassurance, not to be measured.  Quit comparing yourself to other moms no matter what the similarities or differences are.  I recently went to a Girls Night Out dinner and 3 of the 6 moms had one child, but were planning for others in the future.  The other three of us had 2, 3, & 4 children.  The conversation was great as the three of them asked the three of us pointed questions.  What I remember most was that it stayed positive and light-hearted.

Treasure your children, no matter how many you have.  For us, the third time's a charm even if it's not easy.
 

Picture Perfect...or not

I received a Christmas card this week from a dear friend and the picture was so beautiful it literally stopped me in my tracks. She and her husband and their two gorgeous little girls were perfectly arranged on a blanket, smiling into the camera, with a fence and a host of trees in full autumn glory behind them. I sat with that card for a good long while just loving them! Then, setting aside my twinge of envy, I decided to send her an email telling her how beautiful they all were and what a lovely picture they'd taken which they'd be sure to treasure for years.

She responded with this.

Subject: It's a farce!

"Perfect picture - Ha!  The funny part is our 4 year old was completely misbehaving, the 1 year old cried almost the entire time and my husband and I were both VERY frustrated.  The photographer somehow got a few good pics and I was ready for Moe's and a margarita afterward to calm down a bit! Anyway...thanks!"

I loved how honest she was with me; the scene she described was exactly what I've experienced in photo sessions and it made me feel better to know I was not alone! She got a great result despite the chaos it took to get there, but I was only viewing the end result.

How often do we do this to ourselves? We judge our own chaotic process against everyone else's picture-perfect result. It's crazy-making. How much kinder it would be if we'd all own up to the days when the kitchen isn't clean or the laundry isn't done or the workout never happened or the lunch wasn't so healthy. Our friends might realize they are not alone...and maybe we'd all be just a little more gentle with ourselves, especially during this incredibly busy season. 

Try it. Own up to the little imperfections in your own life. Let someone peek behind the curtain of your own "perfect picture" - the honesty just may be a relief to you both.

Four pounds of hot chocolate

'Tis the season for festive beverages! They are everywhere, fueled by the Starbucks engine churning out tempting treats like Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Peppermint Mochas, Gingerbread Lattes, Caramel Brulee Lattes and the like. I love a sweet beverage in a pretty holiday cup as much as the next girl, but before you order, it's worth considering the impact these treats might have on your wellness goals.

As an example, this week I was in a Panera ordering a nonfat latte for a client, and since Panera graciously publishes calorie counts on their menu boards, I noted it was 120 calories. Right above it on the menu board?  A NEW Panera holiday beverage, Peppermint Hot Chocolate (yum!). Calories in that Peppermint Hot Chocolate? 610. Let me say that again. SIX HUNDRED AND TEN. (After checking online I can also tell you it has 17 grams of fat. Whoa.)

I did some quick math standing there in line and thought - wow - if someone mindlessly replaced her daily nonfat latte with a Peppermint Hot Chocolate for the month of December, she'd gain four pounds on hot chocolate alone! (500 calories * 7 days a week = 3500 calories = 1 pound/week) And that's before eating a single Christmas cookie!

So what's my point? Look, if Peppermint Hot Chocolate sounds like Christmas to you, by all means, order one and enjoy it! It's a treat, and I have no doubt that it would be a delicious one. Or, you might consider making it yourself - sugar free hot cocoa mix with a dash of peppermint extract or even a candy cane does the trick!

If, instead, you plan to make that your daily morning beverage, you may want to reconsider...or at least start planning now for the exercise plan to take off the four extra pounds you'll be carrying come January. Eek!

Unlimited Fruit? Weight Watchers Weighs In...

If it grows from the ground, you should probably be able to eat it without worrying too much. At least that's what I've always believed. And now (hallelujah!) Weight Watchers agrees with me! Cue the angel chorus...

In a move that has generated a ton of buzz in the healthy eating community, Weight Watchers has modified their incredibly popular Points program to make fruit a "zero Point" food. As background, (most) vegetables have been "zero Point" since the Points program was introduced in 1997; this encourages Points-counting Weight Watchers devotees to eat lots and lots of vegetables, which helps them fill up with low-calorie, nutrient-dense food. Unlike vegetables, fruit has always been assigned Points based on WW's proprietary calorie-fiber-fat based algorithm. A banana, for example, was 2 Points. No longer.

So why the change? Well, under the old system, that banana had the same Points value as two Oreos, which finally started to trouble the powers-that-be at Weight Watchers. They'd  always ascribed to the belief that a calorie is a calorie is a calorie. And of course on some level, that's true. But the nutrient value is so radically different between a banana and an Oreo that it no longer felt quite right to equalize them for their members. 

So under the new Points-Plus system, members can eat as MANY fruits and as MANY vegetables as they choose. Anytime, anywhere. This is brilliant. All the data suggests that our nation is radically undereating vegetables and fruits in favor of processed foods. Beyond that, diets like Atkins which recommend high-protein, low-carb eating have demonized higher-sugar fruits like pineapple or vegetables like carrots to the point where people are afraid to eat them! Unless you're battling diabetes, that's simply throwing the baby out with the bath water. 

Vegetables and fruits are low-calorie, nutrient-dense, and full of fiber. All of us should be striving to get as many servings a day as we can, seeking variety seasonally

In the words of a compelling voice of reason (that of author, Michael Pollan, in his book Food Rules):

Eat (real) food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

Amen and hallelujah.

There's soup...and then there's SOUP!

 My husband and I were in Costco this weekend (call me crazy!) and as we rounded a corner I discovered that they were sampling a soup I ate incessantly during my five years living in Atlanta, Tomato Basil from La Madeleine! It was my favorite lunch, and I have such fond memories of eating it tucked away in a cozy spot in the rustic French-inspired restaurant, especially when I ended the meal by sharing a dish of Strawberries Romanoff with my lunch companion - yum! 

Back in Costco, I said something out loud which may have sounded like "Eeek! La Madeleine tomato soup! No WAY!" and reached for the teensy sample cup with a huge grin on my face.  I shared my little trip down memory lane with the woman sampling the soup. And then I picked up the package..... and got a cold, hard look from that nice sampling lady.

Her: "Just please don't read the back, ok?"

Me: "Well, why on earth not?"

Her: "Because every time someone does, it causes a commotion."
 
Me: "Pardon me?"
 
Her: "A commotion. It causes a commotion."
 
Me: "Why is that, exactly?"
 
Her, with a sigh: "Go ahead, read the label."

Serving size 1 cup
Calories     340
Fat    32g

Me (shrieking): "Are you KIDDING me? That's INSANE! That's worse than premium ice CREAM for heaven's sake!"
 
Her: "I warned you."

I mean seriously. It's just SOUP! How can one measly cup possibly be that caloric and fat-laden? But it is! It said so, right there on the nutrition label in black and white.  And I'll tell you what, it doesn't have to be like that. I have a recipe for a Creamy Tomato Bisque that would knock your socks off that has fewer than 150 calories a cup and only about 5 grams of fat! Puh-leeze.

Be careful, dear readers, for the seemingly virtuous "I'll just have soup" order may give you more than you bargained for! Read the labels, even if it hurts.

A Thanksgiving Mindset

This Thursday most of us will find our way to the homes of family and friends (or they to ours). We will roast turkeys and mash potatoes and ladle gravy and pour wine and slice pies. We will toast to our blessings. We will reminisce. 

Thanksgiving comes with high expectations of a Norman Rockwell meal around a perfect table with a perfect meal and a perfect family. It can be riddled with challenges when those expectations aren't quite met. It's also a holiday almost entirely about food, which makes it my very favorite holiday, but poses challenges of its own. For some of us, family conflicts, absent loved ones, and opportunities to overindulge at every turn can be a recipe for a very stressful day. Ideally, though, Thanksgiving is a day for simple abundance and for counting our blessings. 

I'm often asked for tips to avoid diet disaster at Thanksgiving and I do, of course, have some. But the most important thing to me is to preserve a Thanksgiving mindset. To be thankful. To set aside the conflicts, competitions, and long-standing grudges and simply to be with whomever you've chosen to be with on this special day.You are blessed. This is a day to honor that.

If you're still itching for those practical tips, here are just a few:

1) Eat the things you dream about all year.
No one will tell you that stuffing is health food, but how many times a year do you actually EAT stuffing? So enjoy it's annual appearance on the Thanksgiving table and savor every morsel. Skip the things that you eat routinely (dinner rolls, perhaps) in favor of the special dishes.

2) Remember, it's just dinner!
Exercise a little portion control; build a dinner plate instead of a mashed potato mountain and you'll leave the table feeling pleasantly satisfied, rather than dealing with impending food coma. 

3) When it comes to dessert, have a bite.
Be choosy about desserts - have a bite or two of your favorites but save the slice of super-colossal-triple-decadent-whatever cake for a day when you haven't just eaten Thanksgiving dinner. Ending a meal with something sweet is delightful; and the first few bites are always the best.

4) Find the "uppers."
Spend your time on Thursday with the people who lift you up and make you feel great! Avoid the people who bring you down or make you feel small. You know who they are - so seek out the uppers and invest your time with them. It's a day for feeling good; don't complicate this. Emotional stress will just make you want to eat more.

5) Move it.
Just because it's Thanksgiving doesn't mean you have to sit all day. Find a local 5K or 10K to run (Cincinnati readers: the Cincinnati Thanksgiving Day Race is a GREAT one and you can register on race day at Paul Brown Stadium.) or go for a walk before the day swings into motion. Or, organize a post-dinner walk or game of touch football. You'll return refreshed, energized, and ready for planning your day of Black Friday shopping! 


So with those few tips and a commitment to preserve a positive Thanksgiving mindset, may you have a delightful and truly satisfying holiday!

Finding Food Matches

I'll venture a guess that you are pretty good at putting together clothes that match, having learned to do so when you were about 6. Perhaps you're even a master at choosing the perfect accessory that pulls an entire outfit together (if you are, could you call me?). Creating a menu that works together is simply a variation on this theme.  Just as you wouldn't wear a wintry boucle jacket with a summery chiffon skirt, there are certain dishes that just don't belong on the table at the same time. 

I'm often asked about how to put together a meal where the foods seem to go together, the way restaurants do it. It's easier than you may think! Here are a few simple guidelines to consider when planning meals that match.
 
1 ) Combine dishes from the same type of cuisine. For example, pair a soy glazed salmon with snow peas tossed in sesame oil and rice vinegar and sprinkled with sesame seeds. The Asian influence in both of these dishes will make them work together beautifully.


2) Eat seasonally. Mother Nature knows a thing or two about food pairing. If you eat foods that come into season at the same time, they tend to work well together. Consider matches like acorn squash with granny smith apples or fresh summer tomatoes and with cucumbers and radishes.


3) Try to balance the flavors and textures on the table. For example if you have a hearty beef stew, consider serving a salad with a tangy vinaigrette to lighten up the meal. Think about classic pairings like pulled pork barbecue with coleslaw - it works because of the balance. Flavors to consider include savory, salty, sweet, sour, bitter, and astringent. Textures include crisp, soft, creamy, chewy and crunchy.


4) Avoid having too many dishes with the same ingredient. Cheese is a common culprit here. You don't need a ricotta stuffed chicken, cheddar scalloped potatoes, and parmesan topped green beans all in the same meal no matter how much you may like cheese.


5) Balance richer, high fat foods with simpler, lower fat ones.  A simple lean protein is a lot more enticing when paired with a rich savory risotto. A hearty grilled cheese is delicious with a cold, crisp Granny Smith apple.

Happy matching!

Mix it Up

Grove Park Inn, Asheville, NC

Today is my 10 year wedding anniversary (!) and to celebrate, my husband and I went to Asheville, NC earlier this week for a brief getaway. It was, as you might expect, completely delightful.  We did things we can't often do with our three small children, like sleep in, linger in bookstores, have uninterrupted conversations, savor long dinners, sip cocktails, watch the sunset over the mountains, and work out without a baby monitor in the room! It was an escape from the ordinary. It's so easy to get into a rut at home where we barely notice each other;  getting away always helps us remember why we're married in the first place!

While in Asheville, we stayed at the amazing Grove Park Inn (where we also stayed right after we got married ten years and three children ago). The sports club at the Inn offers a daily roster of exercise classes, and the 8AM BodySculpt class fell at just the right time for us. However, we'd never actually taken a BodySculpt class before. No matter, we thought. This will be fun!  And it was! It was also an incredibly challenging workout, complete with about 4 million pushups which are by FAR my least favorite exercise in the world. We left that class sweaty, exhausted, invigorated, and laughing together about the whole experience.

But here's a little secret. Several years ago, I would not have even considered taking this class. And what a shame that would have been! See, I used to be a one-trick pony when it came to exercise. I ran. Period. For years and years that was my only form of real exercise. Sure, it burned calories, but if I'm completely honest with myself, it wasn't as effective as I would have liked. 

Nevertheless, I carried on with my disciplined running routine until my knees begged me to mix in some days on the elliptical trainer. Quite by accident, I discovered the magic of interval training on that no-impact cardio machine. Better results in less time - yay! I didn't realize it yet, but I'd begun my journey toward a far less monotonous and far more effective exercise habit.

Then, several years ago, I took another step on that journey when I attended a seminar at the Human Performance Institute and re-learned how important strength training was for overall fitness. After that course, I began strength training with free weights and bands in our little home gym and started to see muscles I didn't know I had! 

After my second child, I took up Pilates and absolutely fell in love with it - the core-focused moves delivered fast results and I loved working out on the reformer (even if it looked scary at first!). More recently, I've started to dabble in yoga...and I'm loving that too, especially the Hot Vinyasa Flow Power Yoga class I've been taking. I've even put myself through two phases so far of the super-challenging P90X videos of infomercial fame. 

Have I given up running? Not a chance. I love it and it's still my favorite form of cardio workout. But I've learned how much fun it is to MIX IT UP when it comes to exercise. Doing the same thing every day is easy and comfortable but it just doesn't deliver the same kind of results that a variety of exercises can. And mixing it up keeps my brain fresh too; the weeks fly by without falling into a monotonous drone.

Exercise is something you'll hopefully be doing for the rest of your life. So mix it up! Try that new exercise video, take a new class, run a new route. Push yourself out of any rut you may have settled into. Escape the ordinary. 

Tips to Manage Treat Overload!

Are you wondering what to do with all of that leftover Halloween candy? If your kids have already fished out their favorites and sampled their not-so-favorites, and you're ready to be done with the sugar-induced craziness, I have two ideas for you!

1 - Invite the Halloween Fairy!
I was recently introduced to the idea of the Halloween Fairy, a lovely gal who apparently arrives a week or so after Halloween to gather up any uneaten candy and leave a toy in return! A new DVD, a Leapster game, an iTunes gift card, a Barbie, whatever the little ghosts and goblins in your house deem worthy of their sugar stash. I love this idea; I'm hoping she visits OUR house!  As for what the Halloween Fairy might DO with all that candy...

2 - Send your treats to our troops via Operation Gratitude
Operation Gratitude collects extra Halloween candy to be used in care packages for our troops. You simply ship a box of your candy to the following address:

Operation Gratitude/California Army National Guard

17330 Victory Boulevard

Van Nuys, CA 91406

Charlie Othold:  818.437.6201

 

You can get more information by emailing OpGrat@gmail.com.

So...enjoy your favorite Halloween treats and then share the wealth. You can feel good knowing that you've done something sweet for yourself, your kids, and our troops. 

Celebrate World Vegan Day

Monday, November 1st is World Vegan Day. Initiated in 1994 by the President of the Vegan Society in the UK, it is now celebrated with festivities in multiple cities around the world.

Vegans are vegetarians who abstain from all animal products, including all meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy and honey. A vegan diet can be incredibly healthful if followed properly, but it requires a significant commitment to uphold and it isn't right for everyone. I certainly applaud the people who have made that commitment and are living as vegans (famous vegans include Alicia Silverstone, Ellen DeGeneres, Woody Harrelson, Jared Lito, Lea Michele, Natalie Portman, Bryan Adams, Alannis Morissette, Jason Mraz, Prince, and others), but there are some gentler forms of vegetarianism gaining momentum as well. Former President Bill Clinton recently became a vegetarian in an attempt to reverse his heart disease. Don't snicker though...there's actually a lot of evidence showing that a plant-based diet approach actually WORKS!

Not only that, but a vegetarian diet is far easier on the planet than a meat-based diet is. It takes a lot of natural resources to feed all the animals being raised for livestock!  

I was a vegetarian (not a vegan) for a number of years, but have been eating meat for the last 15 years or so. Lately, I've been eating less of it, having many meatless meals a week, a practice which would make me a "flexitarian". I love this idea, because it lets me reap many of the benefits of a healthy vegetarian diet, while still enjoying meat and dairy sometimes!

In honor of World Vegan Day, maybe you'd like to have a meatless meal on Monday. That doesn't mean you have to go buy tofu or seitan...there are endless options for how to put together a simple meatless meal. In fact, you probably already have many in your repertoire...especially if you allow for eggs and dairy!


I'll bet you already make or order some of these:

• Eggplant Parmigiana
• Spaghetti with Marinara Sauce
• Cheese Ravioli
• Manicotti
• Pasta in pesto sauce
• Veggie Pizza
• Vegetable Lo Mein
• Vegetable Soup
• Vegetable Pot Pie
• Black beans and rice
• Black bean burritos
• Cheese enchiladas
• Butternut Squash Soup
• Black Bean Soup
• Tomato Soup (+ grilled cheese = yum!)
• etc.

These are all a good starting point, and once you start to play with meatless meals, you can really dial  up the healthfulness of your choices, choosing whole grains like brown rice or quinoa or barley and adding beans and vegetables and seasonings while limiting the amount of cheese. It's much easier than it sounds, and absolutely delicious.


There are a number of great resources on vegetarian cooking. Here are a few cookbooks that I really like:

  

   















C'mon, give it a try...one meatless meal in honor of World Vegan Day...your body (and the planet) will thank you!

Pumpkin Biscuits

Boo! It's Halloween weekend, folks. Time to be barraged by candy or trick-or-treaters or both. I giggled out loud this week when I read a friend's Facebook post. "wondering how people will react on Halloween when they say 'Trick or Treat' and I throw a four-year-old in their bag....." (She has 4-year-old TRIPLETS!) 

At my house, the munchkins have been practicing wearing their costumes and looking for treats all week! We've already had dress-up days at both schools, a Father-Son Pumpkin Carve at preschool, a Mother-Daughter pumpkin carve at home, a trip to the pumpkin patch, a trip to a farm with - yes - more pumpkins, and a kindergarten costume parade! Still ahead? A haunted walk through the woods, a neighbor's Halloween bash (complete with a live band!), and, of course, trick-or-treating! Despite this embarrassment of Halloween riches, I'm going to squeeze in one more treat...these delightful Pumpkin Biscuits.

Light and flaky, these would make the perfect breakfast treat for a crisp weekend morning or a great complement to a steaming bowl of your favorite fall soup. Biscuits take hardly any time to make and you'll feel so accomplished by the time you gently cut them with an overturned glass (because, really, who has a biscuit cutter?). A little icing jack-o-lantern face would be adorable...


Pumpkin Biscuits 
adapted from Cooking Light, 2008

makes 14

2 c. flour
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
1/2 tsp. salt
5 Tbsp. cold butter, cut into small pieces
1/3 c. lowfat buttermilk
3/4 c. canned pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie filling!)
3 Tbsp. honey


Directions:
1. Heat oven to 400.
2. Combine flour, baking powder, pumpkin pie spice, and salt in a bowl. Cut in butter with a pastry blender or a large fork until mixture looks like coarse meal. Chill 10 minutes.
3. Whisk together buttermilk and honey; add canned pumpkin. Add buttermilk mixture to flour mixture and stir until just moist.
4. Dump dough onto a floured cutting board and knead lightly. Roll dough into a 9x5 rectangle (about 1/2" thick). Sprinkle top of dough with flour and fold dough into thirds. Reroll dough into a 9X5" rectangle (again, about 1/2" thick) and dust dough with flour. Fold dough into thirds again and pat it to 3/4" thickness. Cut dough with a 1 3/4" biscuit cutter (or an overturned glass measuring about that diameter). 
5. Place uncooked biscuits onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake at 400 for 14 minutes or until golden brown. 
6. Cool 2 minutes on wire racks and serve warm.

Have your knives sharpened for FREE!

I've blogged before about the importance of having sharp cooking knives...and then keeping them sharp. So.....

I wanted to let my Cincinnati readers know that Cooks' Wares at Harpers Point is having a Knife Festival this Saturday October 30th from 10-3. In addition to big sales on knives, cutting boards, and sharpeners they also have a special deal:

They will professionally sharpen up to THREE of your knives for FREE while you wait! Additional knives can be sharpened for $2.50 a piece. Trust me, this is a steal...and you will LOVE your newly sharpened knives!

Here's a link to event information on the Cook's Wares website. Happy sharpening!

Be Gentle With Yourself

I didn't really mean to take a 2 week break from blogging. I was aware of it, but I can't say I meant to do it. I had a big project that got in my way. And then I couldn't think of anything I wanted to write about that seemed worthy of your attention. And then I started to beat myself up about how long it had been since I'd blogged. Today I decided that perhaps my non-blogging could be the subject of my post; it was time to stop beating myself up and to start being gentle with myself.


I'm not always good at being gentle with myself. I often feel like I'm not getting enough accomplished in any given day (or week, or month). I have so much I want to do and a lifetime of hyper-productivity to look back upon which has set a high personal bar! These days, I have such a full life with these three wonderful kiddos and my amazingly cool husband that sometimes things just don't get checked off my list the way they used to. It's easy to berate myself for this. It's far more difficult to be gentle.


I'm learning though. I've been taking a yoga class lately with two of my girlfriends. Yoga is new to me, and I'm thoroughly enjoying this class. The instructor hits just the right vibe for my taste and the 5:45 AM class (hot vinyasa flow) is challenging and fits into my crazy schedule. (The instructor has 5 children herself which inspires me!) Yesterday morning, she ended the class in a relaxation pose and played The Beatles' classic "Let it Be." It was all I could do not to cry. What a simple reminder that it's okay to let go of anxiety and self-criticism and just let it be.


So, today I'm back to blogging and feeling more okay than ever about the break.


How about you? Can you be gentle with yourself about something today? Can you widen your definition of what is good....and just let it be?

Are you connected?

At first blush, in a world with Facebook and Linked In, it may seem to be easier than ever before to connect with people. Yet, I think it's actually more difficult than ever.

Today when we want to call someone a friend, we need only click a few keys on the keyboard and - voila - friends! What could be easier than that?! Yet, all this clickable friendship has allowed us to hide from both the work and the pleasures of real intimacy, making them seem difficult by comparison. It's crippled our social capability. Amid our hundreds of online friends, how many real ones do we still have? Isn't it easier to send an email than to make a phone call? Or easier to call than to show up in person? Do we still have the time for real connection? Can we make the time?

The author Matthew Kelly uses the phrase "carefree timelessness" to describe the truest state of connection. It calls to mind images of being together without watching a clock or having an objective - just being. To experience carefree timelessness, you need to ditch the agenda and just while away some time with someone you love. Kids are great at this - they play. Teenagers hang out. What do we do as adults? We schedule. Or we click away at a keyboard.

The benefits of real connection are powerful but we just can't fully experience them over the internet. I'm as grateful as anyone for the quick and easy way Facebook has provided to stay up to date on the latest life events and some of the day-to-day minutae of a wide circle of my friends. But those interactions online pale in comparison to even one real conversation.

I was reminded of that this weekend when I had the pleasure of hosting a dear friend and her daughter for dinner and a visit. In ten years I've seen her only a handful of times, and this was the first in more than 3 years. What a joy it was to sit with her, to share a meal, to have a real conversation, to get to hug her and her precious little girl. Are we connected on Facebook? You bet. But is it the same? Not a chance.

To live our very best lives, to fulfill our potential, we need these real-life interactions, these connections. They feed our very souls, those long, meandering conversations with a friend, the exuberant playtime with a child, the unhurried meal with a parent, the two-way, agenda-free, honest, give-and-take with a spouse. They reveal our truest selves. And we must know our true selves to live with authenticity.

So, beyond the friend requests that now fill your inbox and mine, our intention must remain the same - to seek out and cherish those real connections within our mostly clickable lives.

Acorn Squash with Apple Walnut Topping

I am so excited to be dusting off my cool-weather recipes now that the temperature is finally dipping into the 60s around here. I have some perennial favorites that I simply won't make until there's a chill in the air, colored leaves visible from the kitchen window, and a football game playing on the TV in the next room. One of those is this acorn squash. 

For those of you not familiar with all of the squash varieties, an acorn squash is the smallish green one shaped like, well, an acorn!  They are super-easy to cook and are absolutely delicious. This particular recipe uses the microwave so it's quick enough to make even for a weeknight meal - I love that!

While the squash is good prepared simply and topped with just a little butter and salt or grated parmesan, this version is sweet enough to stand in for dessert! Pair it with a roasted pork tenderloin or crispy baked chicken for a satisfying way to celebrate these first chilly fall days.

Acorn Squash with Apple Walnut Topping

serves 2

1 Granny Smith apple, peeled and diced

1 Macintosh apple, peeled and diced

1 Tbsp. butter

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

2 tsp. brown sugar

1 tsp. vanilla

1 acorn squash

3 Tbsp. chopped toasted walnuts

Directions:

1. Place apples and butter in a nonstick skillet and saute until tender. Add  brown sugar, cinnamon and vanilla and stir until sugar dissolves.

2. While apple is cooking, place whole acorn squash in microwave on HIGH for 4 minutes. Turn over and microwave 4 more minutes. Carefully remove squash from microwave and cut in half (from stem to tip) with a sharp knife. With a spoon, scoop out seeds and discard.

3. Fill each half of the squash with half of the cooked apple mixture and sprinkle with toasted walnuts. Serve immediately.

Have you seen your family lately?

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of Family Day - a Day to Eat Dinner With Your Children. This "holiday" (or movement, perhaps?) was created by CASA, The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, because its studies show that the more often children eat with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink, or use drugs. Family dinners also have a direct impact on positive self-image, higher grades and parent-child communication. So CASA created a holiday to encourage people to eat family dinners.  Did you celebrate it by sitting down to dinner with your family?

It makes me sad that we need a holiday for this. Sad that we need need an annual reminder to sit down at the table together and share a meal and talk about our day. But since we apparently do need that reminder, I'm grateful that CASA has stepped up to provide it and that other companies who believe in the power of a family dinner have joined them to sponsor and publicize it.

As one example, Stouffer's has partnered with Todd Parr, a children's author who has penned a new book called "Let's Fix Dinner"  in celebration of this day. It's available for a limited time through the link I included here. (I just ordered mine!) Incidentally, Todd Parr also wrote "This is My Hair," one of my daughter's most favorite books when she was a toddler...love love love that silly book.)

I am a big believer in the importance of family dinners. My own family sat down to a meal together every night growing up, as did my husband's family. Our growing family eats together every night now unless my husband is traveling for work. Sometimes that means we eat early or late to accommodate our schedules...but we do it.  We all look forward to that symbolic point in our day when we come together from our disparate activities - work, preschool, tumbling, kindergarten, errands, exercise, whatever - and reconnect in one place, at one time, around one table as a family.  I'm frankly a little anxious about how our ritual may need to adjust as our children grow older and begin to participate in activities that cut into the family dinner hour. My hope is that we'll be so attached to this family tradition that we'll do whatever we can to preserve it, as often as we possibly can.

Since I love to cook, these family dinners provide an opportunity to put home-cooked food on the table, but the data from CASA suggests that it's not so much the food that matters. It's the ritual. The connection. The conversation that unfolds. So please don't pressure yourself to prepare a homemade feast if you can't see your way there. Simply put food on the table and eat. Pick up takeout if that's what works. Just eat. Together. You'll be glad you did.

If you're already having family meals, will you write a comment below this post and share why they're important to you or how you make them fit into your schedule? And if you're not having them as often as you'd like, can you try to have one family meal a week and let that be your ritual? It could be Sunday breakfast or Friday dinner or whatever works for your family. Just do what you can; you'll create an opportunity for your children to open up and share about their day and for you to make memories you'll always cherish. If the toddler runs laps around the table while everyone eats, so be it. If your teenager doesn't talk at all, so be it. Do it anyhow. Routinely. And let the ritual do its work.

Perhaps if we all commit to eating as families as often as we can, we won't need an annual holiday to remind us of why these dinners matter. We'll be celebrating them all year.

Healthy or Not? It's not black and white...

My daughter likes to play a game she calls "Is it healthy or not?" She's 5, so everything I do is still cool to her and apparently I spend quite a lot of time talking about this subject so it's very very cool. The game goes something like this.


"Okay Mom - let's play 'Is it healthy?'  I'll name a food and you tell me if it is healthy or not!"

You might think I'd be pretty darn good at this game. But I promise you that it is more difficult than it sounds! More often than not, my answer to her seemingly simple question is "It depends."

Cereal? 
It depends.

Macaroni and cheese?
Depends.

French fries? Chicken? Milk?
Depends. Depends. Depends! 

Apples?
Healthy! Yes! Praise God - apples are unequivocally healthy! Whew..

Aaaaargh! I wish I could give her more straightforward answers, but I simply can't because so much of the answer depends on the method of preparation used.

For example, a high-fiber, low-sugar, whole-grain breakfast cereal is pretty healthy! It may have a few too many additives, but I'd give it a passing grade. But Fruit Loops? Cocoa Puffs? Even Rice Krispies? Not so much.

Mac and cheese. If it's made from scratch with a whole wheat pasta, skim milk, and a sensible amount of real cheddar it's actually a pretty healthy food. But the kind in the box with white pasta and cheese flavored powder, maybe not so healthy.

We make homemade baked fries that are very healthy, and Ore-Ida even has a variety or two that would earn the "healthy" moniker...but any fast food or restaurant fries certainly would not.

Chicken can be grilled or baked or sauteed into a lean healthful entree. But if we're talking about a chicken nugget, I just can't call it healthy.

Even milk has been compromised. Organic, skim milk may well be part of a healthful diet. But sugar-laden chocolate or strawberry milk (organic or not - have you read the label on Horizon flavored milk boxes?!) just isn't.


It's no wonder that kids, and many adults, are confused about what exactly is healthy these days. As a way to simplify, I'm partial to Michael Pollan's Food Rules approach. Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. Brilliant. In his book, he breaks down each of those principles into really simple guidelines. Things like "Avoid food products that contain ingredients that a third-grader cannot pronounce," or "It's not food if it arrived through the window of your car".

The bottom line is that in today's food environment, we need to be savvy food consumers who read labels in stores and ask servers in resataurants to get information about the nutritional profile of our food so that we can make good choices. 


All manufactured food is required to carry these labels, so it's important to learn to read them! And restaurants are increasingly publishing nutrition information for their menus to help patrons make informed choices. If the nutrition info is not posted in the store, it's often available upon request or online. 

McDonald's, for example, has quite an elaborate system online in which you can "Bag a McMeal" and calculate its nutritional profile, making any customizations you'd like. And if you forgot to investigate in advance, the nutrition info for their menu is also printed on the backside of the paper tray liner. (Really! Check if you don't believe me.) 


Earlier this year an Oregon-based chain, called Burgerville, began printing the nutrition profile of the ordered meal on their receipts....and making suggestions for how to order more healthfully! Here's an article explaining that choice - I've never heard of anything else quite like it!

So while restaurants are making strides to assist us, and food manufacturers are putting info right in front of us, it's ultimately up to us to take a moment to read the label before making an informed choice. Because in most cases, it's just not black and white.

Does your life have enough "white space"?

From time to time (and with his permission!) I'll be re-posting some things written by Leo Babauta on his ZenHabits blog. Leo has an interesting and admirable philosophy of un-copywriting his content, preferring that others help to spread the word. I find that a number of his posts reinforce the principles I teach at Nourish and  I hope they will inspire you on your path to well-being. This one beautifully illustrates the "Rest" principle.

Create space.

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on twitter .

I’m not a designer, but I’ve always been in love with the design concept of white space.

It’s the space in a design that isn’t filled with things — as you can tell from the design of Zen Habits and my other blog, mnmlist, it’s something I use (perhaps too) liberally.

But white space can be used in the design of our lives as well, not just the design of magazines and websites and ads. By using white space in our lives, we create space, balance, emphasis on what’s important, and a feeling of peace that we cannot achieve with a more cramped life. Let’s look briefly at how to do this.

 The principles of white space

Some of the things white space accomplishes in design:

• greater legibility
• feeling of luxury
• breathing room & balance
• more emphasis

These same concepts can translate to our lives:

• Clarity. Instead of legibility, white space can give clarity to the things in our lives — whether they’re possessions, projects, tasks, or just things that occupy our time and attention. A nice piece of furniture is more beautiful when it’s not surrounded by clutter. A well-prepared piece of food is more tasty when it’s not smothered in sauces and piled with fries and cheese. A presentation is more effective when we don’t use Powerpoint and have only a few points to make.
• Peace. When our lives are cramped, and our homes and workspaces are cluttered, we feel stressed. When we have fewer things on our schedule and fewer things around us, we feel peaceful.
• Breathing room & balance. Many people talk about finding “work-life balance”, but this is very hard to do if you have no white space. Leave space between things to find the breathing room you need, and to easier achieve balance.
• Emphasis on the important. When our days are non-stop busy, everything is important and nothing is important. But put white space between things, and those things acquire more weight, and we place more importance on each individual thing.

Achieving white space

In theory, achieving white space isn’t difficult: you remove non-essential items from your life, your workday, your surroundings, your possessions, and leave the essential items with space around them.

But of course in practice it’s a bit different, and requires experimentation, learning, practice. I’d suggest starting small, with one area of your life, and making small bits of white space. Start by identifying what’s important, and the slowly removing the non-essential things to create the white space.

Some ideas:

• Breathe. Simply take a couple minutes between tasks, meetings, anything that you do, to breathe. After a meeting, for example, return to your desk and just sit still for a couple minutes, focusing on your breath going in and out. When you get home, pause and breathe. When you’re done with a task on the computer, close everything and breathe, before starting on the next task. This creates space between tasks and allows you to focus on each one.
• Schedule. Don’t overschedule. Leave space on your schedule, between tasks, instead of putting things back-to-back. The space gives you time to go between tasks, to recover, to refocus, to breathe.
• Projects. Do fewer projects at a time. Instead of juggling a bunch of projects at once, try to do one for as long as you can before switching to the next (sometimes you need to switch because you’re waiting on information or on someone else to do something). If you can, take a short break between each project — as long as you can afford.
• Sit. Start your day with the white space of just sitting still for 10 minutes. It can be a meditation session, or simply sitting still with a cup of coffee or tea. If you like this, try putting it in the middle and end of your day as well.
• Remove clutter. Pick a few important things on your desk, or in your home, and remove the rest. This will give you visual space and create a more peaceful atmosphere.
• Savor. Slow down and savor everything you eat, everything you do. Breathe before you take each bite, and enjoy each bite.

You can read more about simplicity in Leo’s books, The Zen Habits Handbook for Life & The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life. More here.